After the flowers, the posters, the teddy bears and the excitement of a new relationship, the noise settles down and many begin to think, what can this new relationship bring to them? The first emotion many are hit with, when starting to think about their relationship, is anxiety. This is mainly due to commitment issues, overthinking, and the feeling of not being considered “good enough” for their partner.
To investigate this “Valentine’s Day Aftermath,” a survey was sent out to everyone at EPHS and research was studied over. These were the results.
What can ruin a relationship?
There are obvious things that can ruin a relationship, such as cheating, toxicity, and lying, but the main focus here will be the silent signs that can slowly spoil a relationship. First, the way you communicate with your partner is crucial for a healthy relationship. Many relationships spark up but then turn dull due to little things you or your partner may do when communicating with each other, such as nitpicking. Many of us nitpick without realizing it, but this habit can push relationships toward an early end. A lot of times nitpicking is a sign of needing to “control” others, but it may also be a sign of the way some people were brought up. In any case, it’s a bad habit to bring into a relationship. Another common mistake many people make is that they stop expressing their feelings. As much as you might think those feelings are too boring or too much to share, they remain important to communicate with your partner.
Yes, the passionate feelings at the beginning of any relationship tend to fade for most people. But that doesn’t mean you stop feeling the same way for each other, or even that you should stop telling your partner how you feel. Your feelings towards your partner are important, so you have to express them. The last and most common mistake in any relationship is taking your partner for granted. There’s no better way to rapidly end the relationship than to just assume your partner is only there to make your life easier. The ins and outs of everyday life can take a hard toll on anyone, especially when it comes to taking that special someone in our lives for granted. Which is why small acts of appreciation matter! You should notice your partner’s efforts by saying “Thank you” and “Please” when they give you something or do you a favor.
What can improve a relationship?
Improving a relationship can be difficult because a lot of people don’t really know where to start and what needs to be done. Some people may wonder if they can even improve their relationship at all. It’s important to note that not every relationship needs to be improved. Many of them just take time to build up to being the relationship you want. But if you feel like you guys are at a good point and that you would like to have a bigger and better relationship, then here are three key details to help you:
- Talking with each other. It can’t be said enough that communication is essential to a healthy & improved relationship. What I mean by this specifically is that you should take the time and really be there for your partner. Genuinely listen to what’s going on and understand them & their perspective. Do not interrupt or plan what you’re going to say next. Ask questions about their experience, feelings, opinions, and interests to show that you are interested in them. When they ask about you, let them know who you are, but don’t overwhelm them with too much personal information too soon.
- Another important thing in any relationship is to fight fair. Most relationships have some conflict. This only means you disagree about something. It doesn’t have to mean you don’t like each other anymore, so make sure to keep your words clear and specific. By describing the specific behavior or action you are upset with, this ensures a clear conversation between the two of you. However, be sure you have cooled down before talking, so you don’t say something you may regret later. Also, remember to focus on the current issue. The conversation is likely to get messy if you pile on everything that bothers you at the same time. So take it action by action. You should also take responsibility for your mistakes and apologize if you have done something wrong.
3. The last and most important factor to learn is that a relationship is a process. It might look like everyone is confident and connected, but most people share concerns about fitting in and getting along with others. This is why it takes time to meet people and get to know them. Healthy relationships aren’t built overnight. They are built over time with understanding.
How to fix a relationship?
If you wanna fix any relationship you have to ask yourself, “Why did it not work out in the first place?”. The main reason for this question is because not every relationship is made to be repaired. A relationship is worth repairing if both partners are committed to growth and maintaining a foundation of love and respect. If you feel like they are worth it, then begin by asking your partner what they need from you right now. You need to make sure your partner’s feels validated by you because the best way to go about fixing any relationship is to make sure they have your focus and attention on the matter. This shows them that you care about how they feel, and you want to address this situation with them. During these times, you should also remember to have a sincere apology. For an apology to be effective, it has to be genuine. A successful apology validates how the other person felt offended and shows responsibility for your actions. Apologizing can show that you take accountability for your actions and how you caused your partner pain.
This is why you need to communicate that you truly feel sorry and that you care about the person who was hurt by promising to make it up to them. This is why you should take it step by step to avoid similar problems going forward. Lastly, if all fails but you don’t wanna give up the relationship, ask your partner for a break. A break in a relationship can be healthy as long as both partners use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. It can help you better grasp your needs, reconnect with your feelings, and reset the relationship. But do beware that even though you restart the relationship over, this doesn’t mean that the problem is gone. It also doesn’t mean that the other person will want to stay anymore. However, at the end of the day, what matters most is what’s best for both them and yourself.
In conclusion, I hope all of this advice helped you in your current relationship. But always remember never to force anything on yourself or others, as it can breed resentment, weaken genuine connections, and lead to toxic dynamics that harm your well-being and sense of self. So be careful of who you let in and out of your life because it could begin to affect you.
Works Cited:
- Olson, O. (2022, January 23). What Can Ruin Your Relationships | Moments. Medium. Retrieved March 12, 2025, from https://medium.com/moments-of-passion/7-stupid-things-that-can-ruin-your-relationship-fc05dad6f3af
- Perel, E., & Field, B. (2024, May 14). 7 Surprising Ways to Improve Your Relationship. Verywell Mind. Retrieved March 12, 2025, from https://www.verywellmind.com/7-surprising-ways-to-make-your-relationship-better-5094212
- Schlosser, T. (2024, April 20). Relationship Conflict: The Art of Repair. MyLife Psychologists. Retrieved March 12, 2025, from https://mylifepsychologists.com.au/relationship-conflict-the-art-of-repair/
